cancer sucks!

                                                     Cancer Sucks!!!

Cancer sucks is a term that my Family uses. The reason we use this term is because we just lost my Aunt to Lung Cancer (small cell carsenoma). I advise people to STOP SMOKING. Her name is Tammy and she was the one strongest person in my family that held it all together. She is this amazing woman that left the world all too soon. She decided that she loved to smoke ciggarettes as a young woman and died right after she turned 51 years old. She fought cancer HARD for a full 13 months. She had and still has so many people that love her and respect her to the fullest. She was just one of those people that never let anyone go hungry or go unoticed. She made sure everyone was alright, she was the rock of the Family! I still cannot beleive that I'll never see her again or be able to talk to her face. I realized that when you have family that love you and you love them, you need to cherish the moments that you have with them. Every moment and every memory counts! Time is all we have, we live by the clock and the calender.

 In her last year of living while she was fighting cancer, I failed to visit her often. I was so afraid to see her in the position that she was in, I lost out on alot of good time with her. I know she knew I loved her and I am at peace with how things are. I was there the night she passed and I got to say goodbye to her which meant alot to me. I had seen her just a few days before and I told her I loved her. I really miss her and she was always more like a mom to me other than an aunt. I lived with her and her family when my home life as a child was broken up. She was a wonderful woman, just so special, like an angel. I really hurt the most for her children, grandchildren, and husband. They was so very close to her and then she was taken away. At 51 years, Its so sad and heartbreaking. I really miss you Aunt Tammy and I love you!!!!

I have had my issues with Death. This passing of my Aunt has made me overcome this somewhat not enough to accept death, just enough to be able to handle saying goodbye and being in the presence of a body that has passed. I was mortified, scared to death and now I realize this is the circle of life. Why her though? I'll never know why Jesus chose her, maybe it was because he already knew she had a great heart and soul, he just needed another angel in heaven. I have no idea, all I know is that he took someone very special to heaven on Aug. 26, 2011.

Love, Amber

In Memory of Aunt Tammy<3<3<3
August 26, 2011